


Merry Bad End

by Unicorn_alien_staccato



Series: Spontaneous [9]
Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN, Angst, Character Death, Character Study, Did i forget any tags, Drabble, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internal Monologue, Time Travel, this is all just pain, whoops it's all pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:55:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29892510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicorn_alien_staccato/pseuds/Unicorn_alien_staccato
Summary: Two drabbles about letting everything go (in the worst way possible).It's a merry bad end we're marching towards here.
Relationships: Akemi Homura & Kaname Madoka
Series: Spontaneous [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787074
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Merry Bad End

**Author's Note:**

> I rewatched episode 10 and holy crap the voice acting. Chills were running down my spine, and I knew I had to write a drabble about Homuhomu witching out.

When she first woke up again on the 16th of May on her clean hospital bed, Homura was overjoyed. Because she had truly come back. She could come back and save  _ Madoka _ . This time, with three magical girls, none of them would have to die to Walpurgisnacht.  _ Everything would be ok. _

And at first, everything was ok. Homura had shown them her powers after excitedly bounding up to Madoka during her introduction to the class-almost deliriously happy that she was alive. Confused at her actions, yes, but Madoka was alive and breathing, not dead within the water-filled ruins of Mitakihara city. They-Madoka, Mami, and her-had become a relatively effective team, so Homura had hoped.

But almost as if the universe was mocking her, everything went wrong the day Walpurgisnacht appeared. Mami died, again, and Madoka–

Madoka had become a  _ witch _ .

Her once radiant soul gem had darkened and twisted into a witch’s grief seed. The painful, heart-rending wail of pain as she screamed  _ “Why?!” _ echoed in Homura’s ears. Repeating endlessly in her head, stunning her into shocked stillness. And with that, dark mist had squeezed itself out of the grief seed, twisting and turning, coalescing into one giant entity. There was nothing but darkness. All of that pretty pretty pink had darkened and corroded into despair. And Homura had watched, shaken, trembling with fear-unable to do  _ anything  _ to stop it.

Once again, she was the only one left. She had failed. Not only had she failed, but she realised the truth of their existence.

Magical girls were never meant to be the protectors of humanity. No, no.

They were only unsuspecting cattle unknowingly waiting for the slaughter.

* * *

She tried to tell them. Tried to warn them about Kyubey.

Again and again, she tried and tried and tried. Stuttering and stumbling through words as they spilled from her mouth like a waterfall. Begging them, pleading them to please just  _ listen to her. _

But none of them listened to her until it was too late. Until they were gone and nothing but prisoners of their own despair or shattered into itty bitty pieces that could never be glued back together. None of them listened. None of them. (But then again, who would listen to a girl like her?)

Sayaka had despaired, reborn as a witch rather than fading away to become seafoam. Kyoko was dead, shot through the soul gem almost immediately after. And Mami was put to rest by Madoka. In that timeline, it was just her and Madoka left.

They even beat Walpurgisnacht. (It would be alright if they became monsters together that day)

But like some sick cosmic joke, she failed anyways.

Homura would always remember that burst of light, the loud “bang!” and the loud ringing in her ears.

If she closed her eyes, she could almost forget the horrible, horrible “ping” of shattering glass.

* * *

Now, with her leg crushed by concrete, and Walpurgisnacht still very much alive, Homura was about to fail again. This time with the knowledge that trying again would only be failing Madoka, damning her to ever-increasingly worse fates.

Throughout all those timelines, despair had slowly clung onto her soul like stains that could never be washed away. Unnoticeable if she ignored them, but oh-so glaringly obvious if she simply looked.

She failed her. Homura had told herself that no matter how many times it took, how many resets, how many times she had to walk in and pretend like they never met,  _ never became friends _ , she would still go on. Even if she had to claw her way into the next timeline, even if she became so broken and battered she’d be nothing but a useless record-playing the same garbled tune over and over again.

But in the end, all Homura did (like always) was make things worse. She was so, so stupid. How could she have never realised? Why did she never question how or why Madoka’s potential would have increased every loop, bit by bit until she was an untapped well of power? Until her witch would become a world-ending calamity?

A dam inside of her started to crack. Saltwater slowly trailed down her cheeks as she started choking, gasping for air, trying to rein it in before it could become an uncontrollable tsunami of despair. Blurry purple eyes darted towards the rapidly darkening diamond, turning it into a muddy violet. No no no! She had to keep going on. Just one more time and maybe, just maybe everything would work out–! (Whispers at the back of her mind started to grow louder)

_ Wouldn’t it be better to turn it all to dust? _ (Old dusty words echoed from a time long past)

No, she shouldn’t. Why was she thinking of it now? Homura grit her teeth, forcing down heaving sobs that threatened to escape the confines of her heart.

(What had she said to  _ her  _ that day, as they had laid dying under the starless daytime sky?)

_ “How about we become monsters together?” _

Homura had promised her, promised she would save her, no matter how many times it took.

_ What a liar she was. _ In the end, she wasn’t even able to keep that promise. (She didn’t even notice how there wasn’t even a single speck of purple left on her soul gem)

The last thing she heard was a worried cry of her name.

(It seemed she’d be the only one becoming a monster now)


End file.
